anxiety

To Love Like Judge

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It’s taken me time to write this—maybe because putting it into words means admitting he’s really gone. But grief has a strange way of nudging us forward—through moments of kindness, memory, and unexpected connection.

You see, the other day I received a friendly question from a local gas station attendant. His question opened the door to this reflection, reminding me that Judge’s presence didn’t just change my life—it left a mark on others, too.

I stopped for gas, and the attendant—always kind and jovial—leaned ever so slightly in through the window with a warm smile.

“Where’s your big dog friend?” he asked, looking toward the back seat as if Judge might be curled up, ready to pop his head up—as was the norm.

I felt the weight of the words before I even spoke. But I said them. The attendant’s face shifted—genuine heartbreak in his expression. He wanted to know what happened to my friend, so I told him.

I thanked him for remembering Judge, for asking, for seeing us. He gave me a fist pump, “I’ll be thinking of you.”

The gas station attendant’s words and supportive fist-pump immediately brought me back to a warm summer evening walk a few seasons ago. An older gentleman on his evening stroll passed us and paused, his eyes soft with admiration. “Magnificent,” he said, nodding. “Simply magnificent.”

At the time, I thought he was talking about Judge, and he was, because Judge was magnificent—“magical,” to quote my son. But today, I wonder if the neighborly observation was referring to us—our bond, our rhythm, the strength in how we moved together, how we communicated.

There was something sacred in my connection with Judge, something that didn’t need to be explained—only admired for the authentic love it displayed. It was beautiful.

Intersectionality of Time and Space

The comment at the gas station isn’t so different from the one that summer day. Both came from strangers who saw something beautiful in our everyday. Both moments remind me that Judge’s legacy isn’t just the love he gave me—it’s the way he made people stop and feel something.

People gravitated toward him. Kids, neighbors, delivery drivers, the mailman who kept treats in his pocket just for Judge—they all felt it.

I’ve come to realize that people didn’t just see a beautiful dog when Judge was around—they felt something in his presence. There was a gentleness about him, a knowing. He carried himself with quiet confidence, never asking for attention but always drawing it.

It wasn’t just that he was loyal or smart or handsome or protective, though he was all of those things. It was the way he made people feel seen, safe, and loved—without needing words. He had that rare gift.

Love Like Judge

You know, whenever I posted a picture of Judge to Instagram, it was usually accompanied by the #mustlovejudge hashtag—a playful twist on the early 2000s rom-com Must Love Dogs. It became my unspoken rule, the standard for who I let into my life, into our life: “Must Love Judge.” If you didn’t get Judge or love him, you probably didn’t get me—or love me—either (not to mention our entire pack). Now, after losing him, I see that phrase a little differently.

It’s not enough to have loved Judge. The real challenge, the real calling, is to love like Judge—offering the same quiet comfort walking with people through joy and sorrow, listening without needing to speak, being loyal, steady, and present.

I once heard that grief is just love that has nowhere to go. I’m not sure I’ll ever be over the loss of Judge—and honestly, I don’t think I want to be. But my everlasting love for Judge does have somewhere to go.

The way forward is to carry what he taught me into every space I enter and meet the world with the same unwavering heart and the same quiet grace. This is Judgie’s Yoda-like life lesson I know he wants me to carry forward, reminding me to hold steadfast to my ability to love unconditionally, to always remember that I am deserving of that same unconditional love from the universe, and to encourage others to do the same.

So I choose love—the kind that asks for nothing but gives everything. The kind that lingers, even after goodbye.

I choose to love like Judge.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has been so incredibly supportive and kind throughout Judge’s battle—and through everything since. Your calls, texts, DMs, beautiful flowers, cards, handmade drawings, thoughtful gifts, hugs, and check-ins have lifted us all in ways I can’t fully put into words.

Every gesture, no matter how big or small, has been a testament to the love you had for Judge—and for us.

My wish for you is simple but sincere:

May everyone in this world be lucky enough to experience a love like Judge in their lifetime.

And may we all honor that gift by paying it forward—simply by loving like Judge.

Thank you for standing with my pack. Thank you for loving us through our heartbreaking loss.

We love you,

Jess, Jacob, Daisy, Bravo, & Bud

✌️🫶🐾

The Honorable Judge

September 10, 2017 – March 25, 2025

Yes, Your IB World High School Needs a Therapy Dog—Here’s Why

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Today is World Mental Health Day, a perfect moment to highlight the well-being of students, faculty, and staff, particularly in high-pressure environments like those of International Baccalaureate (IB) World Schools. The IB program, renowned for its rigorous academic standards, challenges students to think critically, act compassionately, and manage complex workloads. However, with this academic intensity comes an ever-growing need to support the emotional and mental health of students who are managing exacerbating feelings resulting from a myriad of factors, one of which being the pandemic (Maricevic, 2022).

As Olli-Pekka Heinonen, Director General of the International Baccalaureate, emphasized in a recent commentary, the IB is re-evaluating education to prioritize well-being in every decision. Therefore, school and district leaders must consider alternative solutions to address the ever-evolving landscape of the 21st-century learner. One such solution is the integration of therapy dogs into the IB high school setting, a decision which not only enhances student well-being but also seamlessly aligns with the IB’s holistic educational approach.

Serving as a unique form of emotional support, therapy dogs in the high school setting transcends traditional methods of student care, fostering empathy, reducing stress, and cultivating a more inclusive school environment (Maricevic, 2022). Their presence encourages students to develop key attributes from the IB Learner Profile, such as being caring, balanced, and reflective, while also promoting emotional resilience. By bridging the gap between academic pressures and personal well-being, therapy dogs help create a learning environment where students can focus, engage, and perform to their fullest potential.

Therapy Dogs: More Than a Comfort, a Core Resource

Therapy dogs offer far more than comfort during stressful times; they play a crucial role in cultivating emotional intelligence and resilience—key components of the IB Learner Profile. Attributes such as being caring, balanced, and reflective are not merely learned from textbooks but are nurtured through lived experiences, often with the guidance of compassionate role models. Therapy dogs provide a unique opportunity for students to develop these traits by offering an empathetic, non-judgmental presence (Maricevic, 2022).

According to Heinonen (2023), well-being is central to learning; without it, students’ minds and bodies become burdened, making academic success increasingly difficult to achieve. Therapy dogs have been shown to alleviate stress, lower anxiety, and increase feelings of belonging—elements crucial for creating a positive learning atmosphere (Maricevic, 2022). By helping students manage academic pressure and emotional strain, therapy dogs directly contribute to the IB’s goal of developing balanced, reflective learners (Maricevic, 2022).

Addressing the Well-Being Crisis

The pandemic has created an undeniable shift in how schools conceptualize well-being. As remote learning became the norm and face-to-face interactions dwindled, students and educators alike experienced heightened levels of stress and uncertainty (Heinonen, 2023). A survey conducted under the #BetterTogether initiative revealed that two in five individuals have faced personal mental health struggles during the pandemic (Heinonen, 2023). Heinonen’s (2023) inclusion of #BetterTogether’s findings reflects the growing concerns voiced by parents and educators worldwide, who are advocating for a more holistic approach to education—one that prioritizes not only academic achievement but also the social and emotional development of students (Maricevic, 2022).

The good news is that the IB Organization appears to recognize these challenges, as it prides itself on a whole-school approach to well-being (Heinonen, 2023). As Heinonen (2023) notes, this approach encompasses every aspect of school life, not merely exam results or curriculum delivery. This is why the inclusion of therapy dogs in IB World Schools aligns perfectly with such a philosophical and pedagogical position, providing a means to support the mental health of students, faculty, staff, and the entire learning community. By fostering a supportive, calming environment, therapy dogs help mitigate the effects of stress, build community, and promote emotional resilience—elements that are key to long-term academic success (Maricevic, 2022).

Mitigating Concerns and Overcoming Barriers

As with any new initiative, the introduction of therapy dogs raises concerns about logistics, allergies, and liability. However, with careful planning and clear policies, these challenges—including allergies, sensitivities, safety, and cultural considerations—can be effectively addressed (Maricevic, 2022). For instance, schools can establish designated dog-free zones for students and staff with allergies or sensitivities, ensuring their comfort while still allowing others to benefit from the therapy dog program (Maricevic, 2022). Another approach is to partner with certified therapy dog organizations to ensure the animals are well-trained for school environments, addressing safety concerns (Maricevic, 2022). Moreover, cultural differences can be respected by making participation voluntary and providing education on the role and benefits of therapy dogs (Maricevic, 2022). With these precautions in place, the program can be smoothly integrated into the school community, offering emotional support without compromising the needs or preferences of others (Maricevic, 2022).

Building a Holistic Educational Experience

Therapy dogs align with the IB’s mission to foster emotional, social, and academic growth, making them a vital addition to IB schools. Heinonen’s (2023) call to redesign education with a focus on well-being underscores the importance of such resources. Therapy dogs serve as more than mere add-ons; they assist students and educators in navigating the pressures of a complex world. By enhancing emotional well-being, therapy dogs enable students to engage more deeply with the curriculum, fostering a growth mindset that encourages them to embrace challenges and learn from mistakes (Maricevic, 2022).

A Call to Action on World Mental Health Day

As we observe World Mental Health Day, there has never been a more urgent time to advocate for innovative solutions that address the well-being of students and educators. Therapy dogs offer a practical, impactful way to enhance emotional resilience, reduce stress, and foster a sense of belonging—qualities that are essential for the success of any educational program, particularly one as demanding as the IB.

Incorporating therapy dogs into secondary IB World Schools is not about diluting academic rigor (Maricevic, 2022). Instead, this programmatic addition represents a commitment to fostering holistic student development—one that recognizes the inseparability of emotional well-being and academic success (Maricevic, 2022). As Heinonen stated, “We know that the time to intervene in the well-being crisis is now” (2023). School and district leadership must act with intentionality, creating environments that prioritize progress over perfection and place student well-being at the heart of learning.

By welcoming therapy dogs into the fold, IB schools can demonstrate their continued commitment to creating a better, more compassionate world—one that nurtures the whole student, mind and heart—one paw at a time.

From Wellness Days to Therapy Dogs: Building a Healthier School Culture for the 21st Century

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Photo by Karolina Kaboompics on Pexels.com

The concept of a school wellness initiative isn’t new; it has been a growing focus for many years among administrators, faculty, staff, and students as schools increasingly recognize the link between student health and academic success. For instance, in their 1991 article “Schoolsite Health Promotion: Establishing a Wellness Culture in Gwinnett County, Georgia,” David M. Hayes and Leslie F. Lambert discussed creating a wellness culture during a time when health promotion was becoming integrated into educational settings. Hayes and Lambert (1991) highlighted the importance of supporting students’ physical, mental, and emotional health to improve both well-being and academic outcomes. While this was a forward-thinking approach at the time, today’s landscape reveals that the need for such programs are even more urgent, as new challenges further reinforce the importance of comprehensive wellness initiatives in schools.

The Wellness Culture: Then and Now

In Gwinnett County, the health promotion programs aimed to build a comprehensive wellness culture focused on physical fitness, nutrition, and mental health (Hayes and Lambert, 1991). These efforts responded to concerns about childhood obesity, sedentary lifestyles, and rising stress among students (Hayes and Lambert, 1991). The goal was to create an environment where students could thrive physically and academically. While these initiatives successfully addressed student health issues at the time, the challenges highlighted in 1991 have only intensified, emphasizing the need for expanded wellness efforts.

Which brings one to wonder, if a 1991 wellness initiative was effective for the teens of Gwinnett County, wouldn’t a similar program benefit today’s teens? Absolutely! The adolescents of 1991 and 2024 face similar challenges—until they don’t. Today’s students contend with added pressures attached to increased technology use, social media, competitive academic environment, and the ongoing mental health crises exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s safe to conclude that the need for robust wellness initiatives in high schools has never been greater.

There is no harm in acknowledging the heightened need for sustained wellness programs, but to ignore the glaring evidence of its existence is a disservice to 21st-century learners. Students today face traditional adolescent stressors as well as the long-term effects of isolation and disrupted learning environments. Anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns have surged, and schools must prioritize mental health with the same urgency as academics and athletics.

Expanding Wellness Programs to Meet Current Needs

While the program highlighted in Hayes and Lambert’s (1991) article laid the foundation for integrating physical fitness and mental health initiatives, today’s schools must adopt even more comprehensive approaches. A Wellness Day is an excellent starting point to emphasize emotional health, with the long-term goal of evolving this one-day initiative into ongoing support systems to address the whole students’ needs on the daily.

The Importance of Prioritizing Wellness in High Schools

Schools that prioritize emotional wellness send a powerful message: emotional health is just as important as academic achievement. And for high schools that have yet to implement a Wellness Day, now is the time to consider the lasting positive impact such an initiative can have on the learning environment. A day dedicated to mental health—through activities like meditation, art therapy, nature walks, or interacting with therapy dogs—offers a much-needed break from students’ regular routines.

Here’s some more good news attached to a school’s Wellness Day! A Wellness Day doesn’t have to be a standalone event. A Wellness Day can serve as a gateway to broader, ongoing wellness programs and one such program could be the inclusion of therapy dogs. Beyond the immediate benefits of stress relief and emotional support, a Wellness Day could introduce students to the long-term advantages of a therapy dog program, creating lasting improvements in their well-being.

The Impact of Therapy Dogs on Student Well-Being

The benefits of therapy dogs in schools are well-documented. Numerous studies have shown that providing students with an opportunity to interact with therapy dogs can reduce anxiety, lower stress, and improve overall mood (Maricevic, 2022). This is due in part to the therapy dogs ability to provide a calming presence, helping students feel more at ease in stressful environments, or as they manage invisible traumas (Maricevic, 2022). More good news attached to the presence of therapy dogs in the high school setting! Therapy dogs don’t just help students with specific needs—they offer support to anyone feeling overwhelmed, whether from exams, social difficulties, or other stressors, discretely and in a non-judgmental manner (Maricevic, 2022).

By incorporating therapy dogs into a Wellness Day, schools can introduce students and staff to the positive effects of animal-assisted therapy programs, potentially paving the way for a permanent addition of such support systems in schools.

Moving Toward a Wellness-Focused School Culture

For schools seeking to strengthen their commitment to student well-being, starting with a Wellness Day is a simple yet impactful first step. But it doesn’t have to stop there. By exploring the benefits of therapy dogs during a Wellness Day event, schools can build a wellness-focused culture that extends beyond a single day. A therapy dog program can offer continuous support for students, with therapy dogs available in counseling offices, classrooms, or even libraries, creating a more nurturing environment year-round.

While implementing a therapy dog program requires planning and collaboration, the potential benefits make it well worth the effort. Schools can partner with local therapy dog organizations or work with faculty and staff members who might have extensive training as a certified therapy dog handlers to ensure the program’s success.

The Need Remains

Ultimately, creating space for emotional wellness in high schools is not just a trend—it’s an investment in students’ futures. The article by Hayes and Lambert (1991) reflected a critical moment in the promotion of school wellness, but the need for wellness programs has only grown since the early 1990s. Today’s students face more complex mental health challenges, and schools must continue to prioritize student wellness by expanding programs to include initiatives like therapy dogs and sustained emotional support. The wellness culture envisioned in the 90s must now evolve to meet current needs, ensuring that schools remain spaces where students’ mental, emotional, and physical health are valued as much as academic success. By fostering an innovative wellness culture that prioritizes holistic health, schools can create a supportive environment where high school students are equipped to face both academic and personal challenges with resilience and confidence.

Kudos to those high schools making it happen.

In High Schools, Therapy Dogs Give Teens Permission to Feel

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Photo by Carlos Santiago on Pexels.com

In the bustling halls of high schools across the country, amidst the chatter of students and the ringing of bells, a new kind of support system is quietly at work. It doesn’t come in the form of a teacher, counselor, or peer, but rather, on four paws, with a wagging tail and a pair of soulful eyes.

Therapy dogs are becoming a fixture in high schools, offering a unique form of emotional support that aligns with the principles outlined in Dr. Marc Brackett’s “Permission to Feel.” Brackett, a professor at Yale University and the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, advocates for the recognition, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating of emotions as essential components of emotional well-being. 

A Moment of Inspiration

The idea to explore this intersection between therapy dogs and emotional education came to me while scrolling through the social media platform “X.” Yesterday, Brackett posted a poignant reflection following a talk he gave at Yale reunion weekend. In his post, he shared, “I gave a talk today at @Yale reunion weekend. I shared how only 40% of us had someone in our childhood who gave us #PermissionToFeel. At the end of my talk, a man approached me and shared how he didn’t get an emotion education from his parents. But he did from his two daughters. I was moved that he shared this with me and by the fact that our children can be our teachers. This man felt blessed to have children that gave him permission to feel. Puts tears in my eyes just writing this. Tears of joy, of course.”

Brackett’s words resonated deeply with me, particularly the notion that emotional education can come from unexpected places, even from those younger than us. It prompted me to think about how therapy dogs in high schools grant teens the permission to feel, much like the daughters did for their father.

A Calming Presence

For many students, the school environment can be a source of significant stress and anxiety. Academic pressures, social dynamics, and personal challenges can create a cocktail of emotions that can be overwhelming (Maricevic, 2022). Therapy dogs offer a calming presence that helps students recognize their own emotional states. Many students report that seeing the therapy dog helps them feel a sense of calm, allowing the stress to melt away and enabling them to think more clearly about their feelings.

This initial recognition is a crucial first step. Therapy dogs help students become more aware of their emotions, which is often the most challenging part of emotional intelligence (Maricevic, 2022). 

Understanding and Reflecting

Interacting with therapy dogs also encourages students to understand the sources and reasons behind their feelings. The non-verbal communication and unconditional affection from a dog can prompt introspection and self-reflection. Students often find that spending time with the therapy dog helps them think more deeply about why they are feeling stressed or anxious, aiding them in understanding their emotions better.

Finding the Words

One of the most significant challenges in emotional development is the ability to accurately label emotions. Therapy dogs act as a bridge, making it easier for students to discuss their feelings with counselors or peers. The comfort provided by the dog can facilitate conversations that might otherwise be difficult. School counselors observe that students often find it easier to open up about their feelings when they’re with the dog, as the dog’s presence provides a sense of safety and acceptance.

Expressing and Managing Emotions

Expressing emotions is another critical component of Brackett’s framework. Therapy dogs provide a non-judgmental outlet for students to express their feelings (Maricevic, 2022). Students often feel that they can tell the dog anything, without fear of being judged or misunderstood (Maricevic, 2022).

Moreover, the presence of a therapy dog can help students develop strategies to regulate their emotions. Research has shown that interacting with dogs can reduce levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and increase levels of oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and stress relief (Petersson et al., 2017). This physiological response can help students feel more balanced and in control. Many students report that the therapy dog helps them calm down when they’re feeling overwhelmed, serving as a furry therapist (Maricevic, 2022).

A Growing Trend

As more schools recognize the benefits of therapy dogs, their presence is becoming more common. Programs are being established across the country, bringing these gentle companions into the lives of students who need them most. School administrators note that the impact is profound, with noticeable improvements in students’ emotional well-being since introducing the therapy dog program (Maricevic, 2022).

In a world where teens are often bombarded with pressures and expectations, therapy dogs are providing a much-needed respite. They are giving students the permission to feel—fully, deeply, and without judgment. And in doing so, they are helping to foster a generation of emotionally intelligent and resilient young adults.